The only date I’ve ever had where a woman left without even sitting down with me for a coffee or a chat was in Armenia.
After a pleasant acquaintance a few days earlier, I was looking forward to an entertaining evening. I should have been skeptical when the woman’s Tinder photos didn’t match her Instagram at all: a rather plain blonde on the dating app turned into an elegant, attractive brunette lawyer with world travels on Instagram.
Even in our chat, she made it clear she loved flowers. After what felt like a thousand dates of all kinds, I wasn’t prepared for this to be a requirement.
After waiting for half an hour (I was, as usual, punctual), someone arrived who didn’t match the Instagram photos either: she was at least 25 cm shorter than me, casually dressed in jeans and a dark winter jacket. No problem, I thought. She looked at me constantly with her blue-green eyes, which I found unsettling.
Happy that my wait wasn’t in vain and hopeful for a good conversation, we decided to go to a café. During our short walk to the well-deserved hot drink, she casually asked, “Do you have a gift for me? Let’s go into a shop.”
I skillfully ignored this and sat down in the café, but she asked again. I replied politely to the standing woman, “I’ll buy you a coffee or ice cream, that’s fine.” Her expectations were different, and her brusque response was, “Let’s go somewhere else.”
On the way out, we passed another shop, and she tried to push me inside with the instruction, “A gift for me.”
After a firm no from me, my acquaintance said in a thin voice, “I’d rather go home.” Confused, I said, “Ok, no problem,” she turned around, and I went home alone, bewildered.
In this date, I paid for a cultural misunderstanding with two hours of my life: in her dating culture, it seems normal to bring gifts or at least flowers on a first date to show appreciation. Or maybe she was from the upper class and used to it.
In all my dates across five continents, I’ve never encountered this before… gifts on a first Tinder date? Is that normal?
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